Leo Luster's Jammin' Return
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: In honour of the 22nd anniversary of the greatest series to ever grace television, I present you all with yet another coconutty abomination. Banana Slamma!


"Bluster! What are you doing here?" cried Diddy as he dropped the crate full of bananas.

Lo and behold, Bluster was sassily sitting in Cranky's rickety old rocking chair. Holding the Crystal Coconut and smirking like a mischievous monkey.

"What happened?" said DK. He then looked at the ground and saw trace bits of ash. He gasped. "Oh my sweet donkey buns! Bluster! You did the ultimate evil!"

Bluster did more of that saucy smirking.

Diddy jumped atop the ashes and wept bitterly.

"This is war, Bluster! You burnt my tie collection to a crisp!" cried DK.

Bluster stood up and stuck his toe in the ashes and then screamed his Bluster scream. "Here comes my booty!"

"Gosh!" exclaimed DK and he put two bananas in each ear, nostril, and eye socket (because he left his eyeballs at home).

The most amazing thing happened next. Bluster's body shone a bright rainbow and he transformed into a delicious hot stud. "Baby, I'm back!" he said with the utmost charisma.

"It's Leo Luster!" cried Diddy. He pulled out his Peanut Popguns and pelted the perpetrators pecs with pure penultimate potential.

The shots bounced off of Leo's firm muscular goodness and DK caught the shells in his mouth, one for each tooth that was badly animated onto his face.

"DK, we can't let Bluster muster the power of Leo Luster to reduce our custard to mustard."

"Not so fast, Dad!" Leo rasped. He then clapped his hands and his well-animated captain's quarters grew to the size of banana trees. It scared the bananas outta DK.

"That's a swag butt!" cried Diddy as he ran into the piano and went unconscious.

"Diddy! He has been sort of killed!" wailed DK. He dropped large tears of banana fluid from his empty ducts. "I ain't happy. I'm feelin' glad…"

"I've got sunshine in the back!" Leo sneered as he turned around and clamped DK with his hunky wonders.

"This is useless!" shouted Cranky as ran into the room just in time to toss a potion and grant DK super strength. "But not for long…"

"My future is coming on, boi!" roared DK as his abs got solid, solid as a rock.

"Don't have a cow, my man…" said Leo with more sass and a healthy dose of rumpage.

DK took the bananas from his face and threw them at the incoming hinderquarters. This blew it up and now Leo had no more charisma to dish out.

"DK! Use the ultimate finisher!" called Cranky.

DK knew what to do so well. He charged up his arms muscles and unleashed the biggest Banana Slamma ever. It was so effective, that it reversed time and restored the glorious tie collection.

Bluster was back to normal. "Oh, DK you saved me!" he said most appreciatively.

"No prob, Bluster! Leo was a stinko!" said DK as he patted his tie collection on the back like good friends should.

"You're still all knuckleheads…" grumbled Cranky.

DK laughed and then shot bananas out from his secret compartment. They landed on Diddy and this also revived him. "Boy howdy!" said DK. "Am I glad the world is back to normal, eh?"

"Diggin' it, brohan, big buddie, my choppin' slick dawg. Maximum tush-tush experience, yo!" swagged Diddy.

King K. Rool ran in with a shiny… new… AMULET!

DK punched the crocodile king and retrieved the amulet.

"My hero!" said Bluster and he gave DK his personal helicarrier.

DK met Nick Fury on the helicarrier and became the first Avenger from Kongo Bongo ever.

DK was so excited that he started to dance and sing:

" _Hey! Hey! I'm a monkey guy!_

 _No need to be mad about my massive eyes!_

 _My eyes look great because I put bananas in 'em._

 _It's so good, I could start to hum!"_

Then DK hummed something deadly and attractive and it made Candy fall in love with him.

"I'm so glad I have a girlfriend who I love dearly!" laughed DK. He began to sing some more:

" _Candy, do you love me?_ _Are you riding?_

 _Say you'll never ever leave from beside me_

 _'Cause I want ya, and I need ya_

 _And I'm down for you always_ _!"_

Then she broke up with him ten seconds later due to bad writing.

"Oh dear!" giggled K. Rool as he stuck his bum in the kitchen sink. "This means your collard greens will get ever so dirty!"

Cranky screamed. It was too late…

The Diddy walked in with a whisk and he whipped up some amazing jalapeno cheddar dip. Everyone tried it and enjoyed it immensely. Nick Fury was blown away too. He gave Diddy a pet cow and made him the second Avenger from Kongo Bongo ever.

 **THE GLORIOUS HUNKA HUNKA BURNING BLUSTER END**


End file.
